Friday, 21 July, 1865

Another excessively warm day. Liv arrived from Richmond at ten o’clk. to attend the Cotillion party this evening at Oak Spring. As far as Bake, Pigeo and Zac are concerned, I would prefer their being in bed sick for the time being. I am altogether opposed to their going. Still, I permitted them to go. Don’t know whether I was right or wrong. I am often in a _?_ and know not how to act.1If you would like to look at the unknown word and decipher for us, click here.UPDATE: We have two votes for “tizzy.” If Christians can’t let go the world and renounce it with its pleasures, why make any pretense about it? We unquestionably do believe ourselves. We are told that if we lower the world the love of the Father is not in us. Oh! children why will you hazard your hopes of heaven? Will you lacerate and wound afresh the bleeding side of your savior? I trample under foot the son of God. I fear and tremble when I think of it, how many have fallen unclaimed and yet there is room for more. Oh! that the Lord may forgive you and open your eyes to see where you are is my prayer. – – Liv brought a beautiful pair of high heel slippers and hoop skirt for Pigeo, $2 for the skirt and 3 for the shoes. William Gregory came to dinner. Failed to get a buggy to take Pigeo to the party, so they sent Zac up to hire Hill’s wagon and all except Bill (who was busy machining) left at six o’clk. Bill had a lamb killed this morning. I had a nice quarter prepared, some wild ducks, loaf bread and rolls, for them to take along in wagon. Zac and Liv drove Duroc to the buggy. Bake, Pigeo, Hardie and William Gregory in the wagon. – – -Bill and I had quite a quiet night and I retired at eleven after reading and writing. Slept pleasantly. – – – – – – – – – – – – $95.2No idea why after the word pleasantly there is a line of dashes across the page to the “$95.” Caroline is writing in an old ledger turned upside down. There are frequent numerical notations. But the dashes run directly from her last word across the page to the number. The ink and handwriting are the same. She wrote it. But why?